Having a moment where I want to pull out my hair. Being a faux single Mom is hard work. I want to do everything and do it right. I want to play with the kids and make good choices for them. I want to take care of myself and eat well and exercise. I want to be here for my husband whenever he can talk or text. I want to build my Scentsy business and make it our lifesaver. I want to be everything to everybody and I don’t know how. I’m doing a little of all of this and it all just feel so half assed to me. None of it is good enough. My floors are dirty. My budget is incomplete. There is not enough money to pay everything. I’ve gained 4 pounds.
The baby is crying in her crib. Vin keep asking to eat but then eats nothing that I give him. Short of trying to schedule every moment of my day and write everything down like a to do list I don’t know how to get a grip.
Plus how stupid would that be? Maybe not too stupid? At least that will give me something to strive for. A way to make order out of the chaos….but seriously…eat now, exercise now, relax now, play now, sex now, bathe now, work now, clean now…knowing me then I would become obsessed with the schedule.
I just know that I am becoming short tempered and ineffective in every duty that I have…Mother, Wife, Housekeeper, Scentsy Director, Michelle…other people may not see it but I feel it. I am not as effective as I could be. I am not giving the best of myself to any one thing. I need to do that. My life is filled with things and people that I love. None of it is a burden. I just wish I had a magic answer that helps to get it all in place.
I need to start blogging again just to get my thoughts out there and help me organize. I need to reopen that avenue of sharing. It will help me to focus I think. Ok, add that to the list!!
