We all have preconceived notions about what love is. Those ideas come from many places like movies
and what was modeled to us as children.
Then as we get older we go out into the world and start looking for what
we believe to be our ideal. For most of
us we go through much trial and error, meeting person after person, until we
meet “the one” and settle down.
Cohabitation is difficult on it’s own but once you bring
your ideas of right and wrong into it then sometimes it becomes
impossible. Then we start to fuss and
fight about things like toothpaste tubes, laundry on the floor, finances, and
kids…round and round and day after day.
Life is stressful on its own but then we add another layer with our expectations.
Since I have been home sitting around like a potted plant I
have watched about 3 seasons worth of The Amazing Race. I think every couple should have to go
through a series of mental, physical, and life challenges together before they
get married. It brings out your true
character and feelings petty quickly.
Tell the contestants that they will only be given a marriage license if
they are in the top 3. Then test the heck
out of them till the chicks cry and the dudes start to yell.
When we are forming our ideals as young people we don’t know
to look for the most important traits in a person. Instead we look at the superficial and how
they make us “feel”. We don’t know how
important things like work ethic, communication, compassion, and loyalty truly
are. We probably don’t even realize what
they truly are when we are young.
Being closer to 40 now I have seen what life can do to
couples. Being part of the military
community I have seen what life plus military demands can do to couples. Under stress and duress is where you see
people in their purest form.
I guess this is on my mind right now because of the
experiences I am having in my own life pre and post surgery. These are the times when it is most obvious
who Robert and I truly are. Even though
pain, surgery, tragedy, and stress are horrible…I think everyone should have
the opportunity to see their partner in this light. It is amazing.
